After the past twenty-four hours of tests, we decided that my Mom needed to stay home and make dinner instead of going with me to meet with Dr. Haynes. My sister, Pam, said she would drive me to the 5:15 appointment. We arrived on time, walked into the office which was very quiet as their busy day of patients had almost concluded, there was only one person left with the doctor. Again, the kind nurse walked us back to the very last exam room on the left, I had never been to that room and the LONG walk down the hallway seemed like the longest walk of my life.
Pam and I sat and chatted with the nurse a bit, she was trying very hard to seem very normal and cheery… I could tell she was merely trying to cushion the meeting with doc. Finally Dr. Haynes came in, I introduced her to Pam and we talked some small talk and even laughed a bit. Then she pulled out the results to my tests, literally, the report looked like a small novel. She started going over each and every page in her kind, thoughtful and caring tone. She explained that the fluid they drained from my abdomen had been sent off to be tested and that we should have the results from that back, you guessed it, STAT! She further explained the findings of the ultrasound and CT scans… I listened pretty intently until she said, ” The pelvic ultrasound showed what we believe to be tumors on both ovaries.” The sweet doctor continued by saying that there were also nodules on the abdomen wall which looked like tumors as well. I think at that point, I was looking at her and nodding and probably appeared to look engaged in the conversation, but I was not. My mind shut down. Pam listened for me and asked the questions that needed to be asked.
After what seemed like an eternity, Dr. Haynes finally concluded the explanation of the “book” of results. She made sure to use words like “we think”, “appears to be”, “it looks like”, “could possibly be”, etc… So, I looked at her straight in the eyes and asked the question, “Heather, what do you think it is?” She looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, “Lynn, I think you have ovarian cancer that has spread.” I tried to swallow which seemed a bit difficult. Again, sis reached over and grabbed my hand and she said something to me that has comforted me everyday since, she said, “Sis, God is NOT surprised!” Our doctor was so happy that we mentioned God and prayer, she seemed relieved that we believe in a Source and a Healer that is stronger than anything we will face.
Next, my doctor said she had a wonderful gynecologist/oncologist at Cleveland Clinic, Dr. Mahdi, she had made an appointment for me to see him on Friday morning if I was willing to get there. Of course, we said I definitely would be there and I was SO GRATEFUL that she was able to get me in so quickly! We got up to leave the room and Dr. Haynes gave us both big hugs and we started the long walk back down the hallway.
We got to the exit doors, it was getting dark as we had been there quite some time. My phone was blowing up with concerned family and friends wanting to know how it went and I just could not even bring myself to answer any of them! Pam and I grabbed each other’s hands and shared some tears as we walked out to her van. Then I looked over at her and told her that I could not get a certain song out of my head, she wondered what it was, I started singing Tim McGraw’s song, Live Like You Were Dying. Pam informed me that I was NOT going to ride a bull named Fumanchu and we made each other laugh in our typical style!
The longest walk at the doctor’s office had led us to an even longer walk as we had to head to Mom and Dad’s to share the news with everyone… truly, my longest walk, was only getting longer! But, I was already seeing what an amazing support system I was going to have no matter how long the road is ahead, I am so grateful!