The First Step is the Most Difficult



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After the dust settled and I was back into my routine from our Tennessee road trip, I realized that my health issues were not resolved, only getting worse.  My goal was to “keep on keeping on” until after the weekend because one of my best friends was coming in from Zanesville, Ohio, it was not just another weekend, it was a weekend of wedding planning. My friend Mary is totally designing and decorating my daughter’s wedding reception so we were having her here to go to a wedding resale show, visit the reception hall and ceremony sites.  My best friend, here, Chris, was also going to be with us as she had offered to totally take over Leisha’s wedding shower for me. (I figured I should start throwing names in here, most of you know who my daughter is, but due to the list of followers I have received, some of you do not know, so… let us get introductions out of the way, my daughter is Leisha and her fiance is Tim, my son is Luke and my daughter in law is Ali… ok, I feel better now  🙂  )

So…. the weekend came and we did the wedding “stuff”, I felt more miserable each moment as my distended belly just kept growing and becoming more painful.  We ended the weekend with my cooking skills on the grill, I cooked steaks on the grill for everyone, even though it was 40 degrees, cloudy and very chilly!  We had a wonderful time and I was thankful to have made it through the weekend and Leisha enjoyed our wedding planning time.

Monday, February 27th, I woke up and decided I just could not make myself roll out of bed, I called my Momma and told her that I was staying home from work and that I called my Dr and I could not get in until Tuesday. I stayed home all day, I even slept in until after noon. I was praying that I would miraculously feel better before the morning because this first step was going to the doctor and for some reason, that was just a large struggle for me to do.   I guess the struggle was partly because I typically only go to the doctor for well visits and I take pride in that and also because I really was not sure that I wanted to truly find out what was up with my health.

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I woke up Tuesday morning and went to my parent’s house, they had volunteered to drive me to the doctor which confirmed in my mind that I was just not well. We walked in to the office, waited the typical waiting time and then the nurse I have grown to love walked out and called my name, Mom and I got up to walk back and she looked at me like she had seen a ghost. Then my doctor came around the corner and gave me the same look, she said, “you just don’t look like yourself, I am so glad you came in!”  

As my doctor, who is more like my friend than my doctor, and her sweet nurse looked so disheartened after seeing me, my heart sank into my bloated tummy. I felt like I was 12 years old again and all of the sudden I was so grateful that my Mom came with me to this appointment… the first step was DEFINITELY going to be one of the hardest of my life.

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3 thoughts on “The First Step is the Most Difficult

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